Back in January of this year Lord Toby Jug formed The Eccentric Party of Great Britain and announced that he would be standing as a prospective parliamentary candidate at the general election. A former long-standing member of the Monster Raving Loony Party and clearly inspired by the late, great, Screaming Lord Sutch (a friend of Lord Toby he backed Lord Sutch at numerous gigs!) frankly, I like the cut of his jib and joined the party. His policies included putting super-glue in lip balm to reduce obesity and fitting a coin slot meter to mobile phones to reduce their use. Photos of Katie Hopkins, Jeremy Clarkson and Russell Brand would be placed at all UK entry points putting anyone off from staying for longer than is strictly necessary reducing immigration woes. Lord Toby promised that if he were elected he would only claim teabags as expenses and only take half of his MP's salary giving the rest to charity. He stood against Boris Johnson (DON'T BE A MUG.... VOTE LORD TOBY JUG!) and polled 50 votes.
Last weekend St Ives in Cambridgeshire hosted the first ever Eccentric Party of Great Britain Conference. Sadly I couldn’t make it but I have it on good authority that a good time was had by all and many a pot of tea and fruitcake was consumed. Amongst the various activities of the day the alternative aristocracy was formed when Lord Toby brandishing a sword that once belonged to Lord Sutch, knighted various members of the party! Members of a shadow cabinet were also appointed and one of them was yours truly being elected Viceroy of Wales and Minister for Monsters! A genuine honour that I gladly accept!
Shadow Cabinet Appointments
Boney Maroney - Chairman
Lord Bungle - Deputy Chairman, Membership Secretary and Minister for Beards
Sir Joshua Francis - Vice Chairman and Minister for Rock 'n' Roll
Peter Berni - Minister for Didgeridoo's
Miss Pugh - Minister for Mental Health
Heather Korbey - Minister for the Disabled
Dame Celia Mole Strangler - Minister Without Portfolio
Lady Prompt - Minister for the Environment, Agriculture and Rural Affairs
Arfon Jones - Viceroy of Wales and Minister for Monsters
I very much look forward to meeting up with these fine people at the next conference. Be sure to look out for future eccentric goings on and check out the party website, better still why not join the Eccentric Party of Great Britain? Remember to vote for the Eccentric Party of Great Britain we dance to the beat of a different drum!
© Arfon Jones 2015. All images are copyrighted throughout the world.
I must be mad - I'm tempted to vote for them. I'd be even more mad if I voted for any of the other parties.ReplyDelete
Your vote and support would be greatly appreciated sir why not dance to the beat of a different drum? ;)Delete
Well, they couldn't be any worse than most of the current offerings.ReplyDelete
Quite! Oh and welcome back :) xDelete